A Quarter of a Century

I realize this post is over a week overdue but the past week has been nuts. My birthday weekend was one of the top weekends of my life. For real. Everything I could have possibly wanted. It all started Friday afternoon with a text from Ryan that read "pack an overnight bag." I could hardly contain my excitement as I shoved clothing into a bag and and patiently awaited Ryan's arrival to go to the surprise location. I just love surprises and I loved that Ryan planned out the entire weekend and kept it a secret!

We drove to OKC Friday night and checked into our hotel in bricktown. He planned for us to eat sushi at In the Raw and then we headed to see the Red Hawks play a game. Oh did I mention that our hotel was right by the stadium? So close we could actually watch the game from our room.

We're big fans of suishi... I even got a thing to make sushi for my bday!

From our room!

We did decide it would be fun to go to the game and besides, we already had tickets, so we grabbed some dessert in concessions and cheered on the Red Hawks.

See our hotel?

We left early so I honestly don't even know if they won- but we just had fun with the entertainment and the experience of going to a game but let's hope they won!

My actual birthday was great- I woke up to Ryan bringing me breakfast in bed with mimosas. He let me open some gifts- one being a voucher for some running shoes, that he planned out a place to go to purchase them. As we got to the running store, I saw a sign that said "Whole Foods" then below it "Anthropologie". Eeeeek! What more could a girl want? We went shopping and taste-tested, and oohed and awwed at our new tennies. We ate at Saturn Grill and I will forever crave that flat bread for now on. It's probably a good thing we don't have one here or else I'd be a carbivore. And 300 pounds.

That afternoon I had an urge to watch Hunger Games and since it just came out that day it was near impossible to find. We literally went to about 10 different Red Box locations to find one- but no luck. The places that "had it" were broken. But alas, Nicole's roommate just purchased it that day and kindly let us watch. We had reservations at a fancy restaurant downtown but I was craving some Thai Cafe in Stillwater and missing my furry baby so we headed back home.

We ate so much good food that weekend, went shopping, open gifts, celebrated, etc. Ryan made me feel so loved and spoiled me soo much!

Top: Thai Cafe, Bottom left- Saturn grill, Bottom right- breakfast in bed

Sunday, my parents, Amber and Corbyn came after church to celebrate with us. It was so great to see them and celebrate with them. I love my family so much and my heart overflows when I get to spend time with them.

We went to Mexico Joes and I ate probably 6 flour tortillas myself. I swear I could live on bread alone- (Not literally, Jesus...).

To being a half a century,
Tera

Learning to love

[Caveat: this IS one of those posts solely bragging about how awesome my husband is.Don't say I didn't warn you.]

I absolutely adore my husband. Yes, we've had a lot to adjust to in our first year and a half of marriage, but I love him more now than I did when we first met. He is such a strong leader in our family: spiritually, mentally, and physically. His heart is so big it makes me smile thinking about how deeply he cares for me.

If you don't know us or haven't heard our story, we had a very short dating period and even shorter engagement. We just knew from the beginning where our relationship was going and didn't see the purpose in slowing it down. I'm so thankful for the way that Ryan has challenged me, shaped me, and made me more of the woman Christ has called me to be.

Since being married to him, I feel so much more confident in my own skin. I feel more okay to just be me. He makes me feel like I matter. He makes me feel like I have a voice. He makes me want to be better at everything. I would have never in my life thought I'd open small side business, but Ryan believes in me. He supports me like no other.

This weekend, he lavished so much love on me that I'm still trying to take it all in. Saturday he said he was going to cook out, and he wanted me to just relax. Now, I do not relax very easily, but he was adamant that I do not enter the kitchen. He surprised me with a lovely dinner, one of his best meals yet.

Then on Sunday, after going to eat with one of our favorite couples, Ryan insisted on doing the cleaning. Yep, you heard me. ALL OF IT. He did the sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, deep cleaning bathroom, etc. while I went grocery shopping. Then when I got home from the store, he had a bouquet of beautiful flowers waiting for me. He knows his way to my heart. He knew I'd be stressed if we went to eat with friends because Sundays for me consist of couponing, shopping, cleaning, and prepping for the week. I love doing life with him. Then, to top it off, he hung my teacup measuring cups up on Sunday night. Love that man.

The cooking, cleaning, flower-buying man.

One more picture, just because we're so proud

We are slowly but surely learning to how lean on each other and love each other the way we are loved best. I feel most loved when Ryan does things for me-(service)- helps clean, cook, chores, buys flowers, etc. Ryan feels most loved through affirmation. He feels loved when I respect him, appreciate him, and value his time. It took me over a year to realize that me cooking, cleaning, and doing things around the house were in fact not the way Ryan feels loved. Yes, he does appreciate it, but it doesn't make him feel loved. I've had to adjust my mindset to transition what I focus my attention on, and I'm definitely still working on that. We've had to learn that the way that we feel loved is not necessarily the way our spouse fees loved.

This weekend was so good for us. So refreshing, and such a good perspective. We had a great balance of time together and time apart being productive.

To striving to be a better mate,
Tera

Weekend Review- Am I crazy?

Where did the weekend go? I have no idea how it is already Monday. Like, really. We had a great weekend though, and probably one of the most productive ones yet. It started on Friday with a friendly game of Monopoly- Planet Earth Edition- that ended up with me being frustrated because I was bankrupt. I need to grow up.

Pre-sadness/bankruptness.

When I finally got over being frustrated about not winning, we had a good rest of our evening. Saturday I woke up to this:

My sweet husband made me breakfast in bed! He made me toasted bread with fried egg and Turkey bacon with orange juice. Such a keeper.

Then I got a sweet tooth and went and picked up these little joys:

My kryptonite

On my sugar-high, I decided it was a good idea to go craft-crazy. That was fun. Then we went along with our planned hang out which was tennis. We laughed a lot. Let's just say tennis is not our strong point. We won't be competing in the Wimbledon anytime in the near future. But we did enjoy time together and a break from crafting and whatnot.

My hot husband

sugar-induced crafting

Kai looked cute all weekend, as usual.

Finally, I created an etsy shop. Yep, you heard me. OPENED.  I'm completely nervous and scared about this. Is this product really worthy of selling? Am I really good enough to have people pay me to make things? Is this real life?

To not knowing if I'm crazy or not,
Tera

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Ryan and I have started this new thing in our marriage: intentional hang out. Let me preface this by stating that I am a pretty needy wife in that I need time with Ryan. A lot of it. I also like planned hanging out. I don't just want to be in the same room as him, but actually engaged in discussion or actively doing something together.

Ryan had a bright idea the other day to plan out a month of planned activities together. These range from grabbing coffee (or tea in my case) together to swimming, to board games to playing tennis, etc. Yesterday on our plan was to swim. In my mind this meant to lay out, jump in the pool for a couple minutes, play in the pool together, and then lay out some more.

Ryan had a different idea in mind. He wanted us to swim laps together. Laps!? I am not a swimmer. I tried laps last year and failed miserably.But- since I am working on being less selfish, I smiled, dug out my one piece and found my goggles hidden deep in my drawer.

We had to wait awhile to get a lane and I looked down and saw this:

It was dark when I put on my shoes, but how does this happen?

Ugh. Not only did my shoes not match, but I couldn't find my hair tie. I was done. This is not what I wanted to do. No. My selfishness wanted to creep out but I persevered. I made a conscious decision that I was going to enjoy our evening together albeit swim laps, and make the most of what we had planned out.

My competitiveness comes out too much when I'm right next to Ryan- the amazing swimmer- that I feel like I am failing. I kept repeating to myself "slow and steady wins the race." So lame but it got me to realize that I don't need to swim as fast as Ryan and that this was in fact not a race.

I learned something yesterday though, perseverance adds character. If I give up, I miss out on the opportunity to be sharpened. I miss out on the chance to grow. I want need to grow and mature and I have to use these opportunities to help me.

When we were finishing up, Ryan insisted that I do one more. "Just when you think you're done, do one more." Ughhhhhhhh. Fine. Perseverance. I did it and was glad I did.

Slow and steady wins the race.
To always persevering,
Tera

A tea latte kind of day

Today is a tea latte kind of day. I was not anticipating to be woken up at 5:15 in the morning, but sometimes that's just the way they go. It was all fine until Ryan could not find his card for the gym. He started searching the entire house and Kai started crying. I just wanted to go back to sleep.

Sleep did not happen for me but I did learn something. I am selfish. I knew this. This is not new, but my initial reaction was "freaking just go on a run" not "honey let me help you." I need to cultivate a heart that is more willing to serve my husband. I need to be more sensitive to his needs.

So as I was pondering this and pouting, I decided that I deserved a tea latte. After all, I was rudely woken up. While I was sipping away though, I started to be convicted of my actions thoughts this morning.

Lord, help me to see Ryan's needs and to be willing to be his helper because this is what you have called me to.

As long as I strive to be better and have that be the goal, I believe that my heart will slowly begin to mature and become more like Christs. 

To a tea latte kind of day,
Tera

Quote Friday

We're packing up and heading to Kansas City this weekend to visit my sister and brother-in-law and their precious girls. I'll post about it after the weekend.

This is a quote I am chewing on right now:

"...remember that in Christian marriage, husband and wife are more than lovers. They are brother and sister in Christ."

-Gary Thomas in Sacred Marriage 

This is profoundly encouraging and challenging at the same time.

Chew on that and happy Friday!

To always learning how to be a good spouse,
Tera

Quote Friday

"One of the best wedding gifts God gave you was a full-length mirror called your spouse. Had there been a card attached, it would have said, "Here's to helping you discover what you're really like!"

-Gary and Betsy Ricucci in Sacred Marriage 

 

To wedding gifts and galore,
Tera

The Greatest Challenge

Marriage requires a radical commitment to love our spouses as they are, while longing for them to become what they are not yet. Every marriage moves either toward enhancing one another's glory or toward degrading each other.

-Dan Allender and Temper Longman III

If you treat a man as he is, he will stay as he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become the bigger and better man.

-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Marriage is such a gift. Sometimes you like it, and sometimes you pretend that you do. Sometimes you don't know what to do with it and sometimes it is the most wonderful thing you could have ever imagined, and you feel completely in awe with gratitude of how wonderful that person who gave you that gift. Today... I feel irritable. I wish I could say that I am completely infatuated with my husband, but sometimes I wake up in a bad mood and seem to think of every possible wrong thing he did that morning instead of dwelling in the good things he continually does.

I just started re-reading (I think I read it at least) Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas and it is humbling. At the core of me, there is no good. I am utterly selfish, prideful, and arrogant. I think I know the best way to do things and that my husband is "wrong" for the way he does things. We've been married for over a year now so you'd think I'd understand by no, but no, I don't.

My prayer today is that the Lord cleanses my thoughts and increases my love for Him so that I can love Ryan better.

I want Ryan to see the beauty in the gift and not the lets pretend that I like this today aspect of it.

Never giving up,

Tera