Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Weekend Review

As I posted yesterday, we had a fantastic weekend. It is so hard to start a week after your weekend is so sweet, but all good things must end. Friday we went on a double date with our favorite couple in town to see the Batman. I was surprisingly impressed and very entertained. I am still terrified of Bane and am confident that I will have nightmares for probably ever, but it was worth it. We snuck in lots of candy (shh) and froze our butts off because the theater was 5 degrees.
Saturday, we were super productive. Of course we slept in, but then we both went our separate ways and got lots done. I finished two whole orders, mailed them off, went swimming with Ryan, relaxed while Ryan cooked it up, and then we went to get sno cones. While Ryan was cooking, I made some burp cloths for a friend.I can't wait to make some for myself...but I'm patient. One day. :)
Burp cloths.
orders I completed this weekend
his and hers
After dinner we watched one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I'm too embarrassed to even write the name, but just know it was that bad. Sunday we went to church, out to eat for sushi with our favorite couple again, and then I was lavished with love as Ryan served the heck out of me. I did some more sewing and we watched Olympics and then I found this picture and am now convinced I found Kai's brother in the shelter:
Kai on left, Micky on right.
I want to bring Kai to play with Micky to see how they play together. How can they not be brothers? They both have super long tongues, bobbed tails, short hair, everrrything.

Kai got so hot this weekend that he'd come inside and lay on the tiled floor. I guess the coolness felt good to him. He's a sleepy puppy and did this a lot this weekend:
He's just such a cutie. I love our small family so much. We thoroughly enjoyed our time together this weekend and I long for next weekend just to be able to spend more quality time together. If this week is half as wonderful as our weekend was, then it's going to be one heck of a week.

To having wonderful weekends,

Monday, July 30, 2012

Learning to love

[Caveat: this IS one of those posts solely bragging about how awesome my husband is.Don't say I didn't warn you.]

I absolutely adore my husband. Yes, we've had a lot to adjust to in our first year and a half of marriage, but I love him more now than I did when we first met. He is such a strong leader in our family: spiritually, mentally, and physically. His heart is so big it makes me smile thinking about how deeply he cares for me.

If you don't know us or haven't heard our story, we had a very short dating period and even shorter engagement. We just knew from the beginning where our relationship was going and didn't see the purpose in slowing it down. I'm so thankful for the way that Ryan has challenged me, shaped me, and made me more of the woman Christ has called me to be.

Since being married to him, I feel so much more confident in my own skin. I feel more okay to just be me. He makes me feel like I matter. He makes me feel like I have a voice. He makes me want to be better at everything. I would have never in my life thought I'd open small side business, but Ryan believes in me. He supports me like no other.

This weekend, he lavished so much love on me that I'm still trying to take it all in. Saturday he said he was going to cook out, and he wanted me to just relax. Now, I do not relax very easily, but he was adamant that I do not enter the kitchen. He surprised me with a lovely dinner, one of his best meals yet.

Then on Sunday, after going to eat with one of our favorite couples, Ryan insisted on doing the cleaning. Yep, you heard me. ALL OF IT. He did the sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, deep cleaning bathroom, etc. while I went grocery shopping. Then when I got home from the store, he had a bouquet of beautiful flowers waiting for me. He knows his way to my heart. He knew I'd be stressed if we went to eat with friends because Sundays for me consist of couponing, shopping, cleaning, and prepping for the week. I love doing life with him. Then, to top it off, he hung my teacup measuring cups up on Sunday night. Love that man.

The cooking, cleaning, flower-buying man.
One more picture, just because we're so proud
We are slowly but surely learning to how lean on each other and love each other the way we are loved best. I feel most loved when Ryan does things for me-(service)- helps clean, cook, chores, buys flowers, etc. Ryan feels most loved through affirmation. He feels loved when I respect him, appreciate him, and value his time. It took me over a year to realize that me cooking, cleaning, and doing things around the house were in fact not the way Ryan feels loved. Yes, he does appreciate it, but it doesn't make him feel loved. I've had to adjust my mindset to transition what I focus my attention on, and I'm definitely still working on that. We've had to learn that the way that we feel loved is not necessarily the way our spouse fees loved.

This weekend was so good for us. So refreshing, and such a good perspective. We had a great balance of time together and time apart being productive.

To striving to be a better mate,

Friday, July 27, 2012

This week

This week has been so emotionally draining. I have barely slept thinking about Darrell's trial. I will never in my life forget the sounds, emotions, and visual that I saw after the verdict was read. It is forever imprinted in my memory. I won't say a lot about my thoughts about it only that I know there was not enough evidence.

Other than being emotionally drained, I've been sewing my tooshie off getting orders completed. I've really enjoyed it though! It's a fun rush to get off work and jump on a sewing machine and make something. I feel successful when I send an order. I feel like I've really accomplished something big. I still wonder and hope that people like them and that they are satisfied with the end result. I spend way too much time being a perfectionist but I'm resting in the fact that the people that buy them know they are handmade and it is impossible to be perfect. It was a wonderful feeling when I sold my tenth order. I love that this was never planned but this is purely for fun.

To distract my thoughts, I've become absorbed in recipes this week. I've made two new recipes that we've come to love. I made muffin tin chicken pot pies on Wednesday and Quinoa burgers with sweet potato fries on Thursday. I was actually planning on making a tutorial for one of the two but got frustrated with how long they took to make that I was in a hurry to finish by the time Ryan was off work.
Divine goodness- Muffin Tin Chicken Pot Pies
Quinoa Burgers with sweet potato fries
My precious sweet puppy that loves to cuddle
My "second job" but really my hobby.
I would make the chicken pot pies every week if it didn't take nearly 2 hours to finish, but man were they good! Click on the links if you want recipes to try yourself. I think next week I want to try coconut crusted chicken with broccoli or cheesy chicken and rice bake. I just love trying new recipes and Ryan approving. It's a big win for me.

This weekend we plan to not plan, to rest, to sleep in, at finish orders, to go on a double date and to just be. Mmhm. Amen.

To trying new things,

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Weekend Review

Yesterday was an overly emotional day for me. I wasn't able to blog because I was at the closing remarks to Darrell Williams' trial. I felt sick all day yesterday and still feel sick. I don't know if he was guilty or innocent, but all I know is that now his life is forever changed. Just like that, changed. I wasn't there for the whole trial but for the day that I was there, I left so confused because there was no hard evidence but rather a he said she said type of situation. I feel for the girls because I honestly do think this happened to them, but I'm not 100% convinced it was Darrell.

Ryan asked me "do you think it's worse to lock up an innocent man or let a guilty man free?" I think that's a good question. Obviously there are only a couple people who know what really happened that day, but I do not. My heart is heavy.

On a lighter note, we did have a wonderful, relaxing weekend, as anticipated. It was filled with swimming, baking, yummy Thai food, dog parks, sewing, wine, and watching Batman for the first time. Okay, so I had this weird deal with Heath Ledger dying and was adamant about not watching it, until Saturday. Ryan wants to see the new one and I told him I needed to watch the old one...the things you do for love.

Here's our weekend in pictures:
We were the only ones at the park so we played "soccer" We both got exhausted and it was awesome
We spent a good chunk of time at the pool this weekend, which I loved.
My version of "swimming at the pool"
We baked cookies together which consisted of flour everywhere, laughing, and a begging puppy
We watched the second batman together. All of us.
This happened.
How can you not love that face?

So now it's Tuesday and I'm thankful for a couple prominent things. I'm thankful that God is the father of justice. I'm thankful that I'm not a lawyer and I'm thankful one day all the pain on earth will be over.

To looking upward,

Friday, July 20, 2012

What breaks you makes you stronger

Three days a week I do Jillian Michael's Ripped in 3o. Don't judge. She screams at me and tells me she wants to bounce a quarter off my "tooshie." She's crazy, but she pushes me. I feel like I get a good workout on my off days of running but I'm still waiting to be ripped (ha). This week she's been telling me that what breaks me only makes me stronger. I guess I'm getting very strong this week because she's been whooping my tooshie so hard.

I finished my book and it made me so angry in the middle of it I honestly thought about not finishing it. I get so upset with injustice and manipulation and I could hardly take it but I endured, because several people told me there would be redemption. And there was. I cried and laughed and feel emotionally drained though reading this. It's been like living this live vicariously though the book and I'm having one of those major "book hangovers." :
It's going to take me awhile to move on and to pick up another book, but time will pass.

We've enjoyed our hang out time at night and I especially like when we got on walks.

Last night we babysat and both fell asleep on the cough at 9pm which I think was an indicator of how exhausted we both are. The weekend can't come quick enough.

My life has looked a lot like this lately:
  • Wake up
  • Work out
  • Work
  • Sew
  • Cook
  • Sew sew sew
  • Sleep
  • Repeat
Everytime I get an order I get butterflies in my stomach. I have this feeling of Can I really do this? I feel like the 4 hour mess-up set me back but the humbleness has been good for me. 
My kitchen has permanently been a sewing city and I'm not sure how I feel about that yet. I'm just enjoying the sewing and the adventure in this. I'm looking forward to sleeping in, not working out tomorrow, and spending time with my hot husband this weekend.

To becoming stronger,

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Irrational Fears

I have a lot of fears. Fears that don't make sense. Fears that cripple me. Fears that keep me from doing things I enjoy. I have been reading The Art of Racing in the Rain and have had an irrational fear that something bad could happen to Ryan and I won't be prepared. I have fears that I am always pregnant (side note: we are not trying and we are 100%  not pregnant). I also have silly fears that Kai is dying. If he is laying down I'm always Is he breathing?? I'm so absurd.These fears don't match with reality but they do point out something in my life: lack of trust. 

A month or so ago, we went to church with my family in Tulsa and the sermon was on fear. The pastor basically explained that fear has a lot to do with value. If you are fearing something, you place some sort of value in that thing. On the other side, you are also displaying a big source of mistrust with that value. He said it better than I could: "What you fear reveals what you value the most. What you fear reveals where you trust God the least." 

I guess I hold on so much to my future (pregnancy/ability to have kids/being a mother) and my husband that I don't trust the Lord enough with those things. I irrationally think that if I can control my husband or not drink any alcoholic beverage because I just may be pregnant and I may hurt our unborn child or that headache that I had means that I am for sure pregnant, that if I can control it, then I can make it better. I am lacking trust and being ridiculous. I'm realizing through reading this book about this sweet dog's family that I fear silly things. This book has nothing to do with these concepts other than the fact of one of the adults getting very ill in the book but it has just reminded me of my irrational fears.

God is good, He is in control, and He loves me. I know those truths so why don't I have the faith to live them out?

In the sermon the pastor later goes on to state "If we are dominated by fear then we cannot operate in faith!" 

It's easy to give God easy things like clothes, food, friends, weather, etc. but when it comes to money, Ryan, and our future, I hesitate to give him everything and to have faith that He is in control.

To praying for faith,

Monday, July 16, 2012

Weekend Review

We spent Friday night crafting/working/getting things done that we didn't have time to do during the week. I desperately wanted that day to finish my orders of the week and feel like I wasn't behind. I learned how to make my zipper pouches better and so I felt super productive and successful all night (but that quickly ended on Sunday... keep reading).

Then we woke up early slept in Saturday and headed to Tulsa to see family. I delivered my first order to my mom.
Since we had a productive Friday, my other three orders are going out this week. I'm having fun and enjoying learning more each day!

Anyways, we swam, ate some yummy food, went shopping, and then went to church, ate more and then headed back home.

Sunday afternoon I had several hours to work on my Sew Able projects, so I went to town. I mean, I was fully engaged in crafting:
I figured out how to make my own labels, made ten fabric envelopes, only to tell later that I measured them wrong! Four hours later.How does this happen? I was super disappointed and kept thinking the time, money, and production costs that occurred by that stupid error. In the end I told myself I'll never make that mistake again, and that's the only way I can look at it now. You live, you learn.

Ryan and I were trying to think of what they could still be used for but didn't come up with any great options other than other countries' bills, but still waiting to come up with a good solution.

It's just things like that that keep me humbled and I can only look at them as blessings! I'm taking it as a teachable moment and learning to not get over-confident.

To always being teachable,

Friday, July 13, 2012

Let's Rewind

This week was full of a lot of emotions. The week started out with a bang with opening my own etsy shop. I'm still finishing up my first batch of orders and trying to figure out how to do this whole business thing.

Then by the end of the day I had to bring Kai to the vet:
He gets tired of waiting for the vet staff that he usually falls asleep. He loves to go to the vet though. He sniffs around, and loves the attention from the vet students and veterinarians. Turns out he had conjunctivitis in his eye, which is basically just some infection caused by either debris or allergy to something in the air. He woke up Sunday morning with a bloodshot eye and gunk all in it. I was obviously paranoid and thought he was going blind so I took him right in the vet as soon as I could. Turns out it's not that big of a deal, phew! He's actually not dying.

Then I got this lovely in the mail:
Okay, go ahead and call me a crazy dog-lover, because this post does nothing but convince you of that. The book is a cute story about a family through the lens of a witty dog. There's so much love, hope and beauty in it and I've enjoyed the pleasure-reading that it is.

Tuesday night we had sushi with two lovely couples and had a wonderful dessert of baked peaches with brown sugar and cinnamon. I'm craving it just thinking about it. Mm. Love those friends and thankful to walk alongside other couples in the same stage of life that we are in.

Today I went and got one of these:

Starbucks was giving away free 12 oz Refreshers from 12-3 today. I just love free things! I chose lime and it was great! It was a great break during a slow Friday.

This week I am thankful for:
  • having a job that I love
  • new friendships
  • snow cones
  • creativity
  • animals
  • the ability to exercise
  • my sewing machine (thank you Kathy!)
  • air conditioner
  • today being Friday
My heart is full. I have so much to be thankful for and I sometimes wonder how I got here in life. Amazing supportive husband, cutest dog ever, job that I love, most supportive family, and friends that I have prayed for for years. God is good!
To full hearts,

Thursday, July 12, 2012

My Adventure with Spaghetti Squash

I love trying new recipes. I like the adventure in it, the unknown, and the challenge. While I was at the grocery store on Sunday, I saw this:
I thought to myself, this could be fun. I brought it home and hubs enjoyed pretending it was a football and I kindly told him to stop because this was going to be dinner one day this week. My mom has made spaghetti squash before, but I have never made it myself and I thought it would be a fun way to spice up our weekly menu.

I found this recipe and was so excited to get off work to start cooking. First, the recipe says to pierce the squash all over with a pairing knife to let the baby breathe while baking:
Done. Then cook in the oven on 375 degrees for one hour. That's a lonng time, but hey, why not. After it gets out of the oven, let cool for 10 minutes. Seriously, do wait. Ask me why I know.

Next, slice the squash in half:
Okay, I got this! Wait, I don't see the "spaghetti"! Patience. Rake out all of the seeds (there are a lot in there, so make sure you get them all).
Don't judge my much loved baking sheet.
Now is the fun part! In a skillet, saute butter and garlic. Oh, I can still smell it now. So good.Take a fork and rake out the spaghetti and prepare to be amazed.
There's a ton in there! Mix around with the butter and garlic and let cook while salting to taste.

I added parsley, green onion, and Parmesan cheese as well as some garlic salt in lieu of plain salt. I grilled some lovely chicken and sliced it and served the chicken over the spaghetti squash like it was "real spaghetti".

Dinner served! Hubs approved and I could eat this meal every day. So much flavor and so healthy!I'm pretty sure I will now be referring spaghetti squash as "real spaghetti" for now on. Who needs noodles when you have a veggie that tastes like it but better?

To trying to recipes,

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

There is so much more life to live

I've been thinking and dreaming lately a lot about the future. Its fun to think of where life could take you. How many children will we have? Will I ever run a full marathon? What hobbies will I have? Will I have a side job or will I be a full stay-at-home mom? What things will I enjoy when I'm in my 30's? 40's? So many possibilities. So much to think about.

Opening up my own etsy shop was a huge stretch for me. It caused me to be vulnerable. I find comfort in having a guard up and opening up a shop to make things where people pay me money was a really stressful idea. I kept thinking, "am I really good enough for this?" and "do people know I just learned to sew...watching youtube videos?" I have been really insecure about this because I want to make sure that the quality of the products I make are up to par with how they should be. I'm not professional and I need to be okay with that. I have a huge learning curve and it is pretty exciting.
Yesterday's accomplishment (pre-labeling)
So I've been dreaming and thinking what the rest of my life will bring me and I started thinking that I have so much more life to live. I need to take these leaps, be adventurous, and dream big. I need to take risks and not always take the easy route. I need to be vulnerable. I need to take more steps outside my comfort zone and stretch myself. I think the fear is that I will fail. I need to be okay with the thought of failing and be more excited about the effort and the risk. I want to learn, grow, mature and taking these baby steps are the only way to get there.

In my office I have this quote on my quote wall that says
"There is no passion to be found in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living" - Nelson Mandela
 There's so much life to live, what are you going to do with today

To dreaming big,

Monday, July 9, 2012

Weekend Review- Am I crazy?

Where did the weekend go? I have no idea how it is already Monday. Like, really. We had a great weekend though, and probably one of the most productive ones yet. It started on Friday with a friendly game of Monopoly- Planet Earth Edition- that ended up with me being frustrated because I was bankrupt. I need to grow up.

When I finally got over being frustrated about not winning, we had a good rest of our evening. Saturday I woke up to this:
My sweet husband made me breakfast in bed! He made me toasted bread with fried egg and Turkey bacon with orange juice. Such a keeper.

Then I got a sweet tooth and went and picked up these little joys:
My kryptonite

On my sugar-high, I decided it was a good idea to go craft-crazy. That was fun. Then we went along with our planned hang out which was tennis. We laughed a lot. Let's just say tennis is not our strong point. We won't be competing in the Wimbledon anytime in the near future. But we did enjoy time together and a break from crafting and whatnot.
My hot husband

sugar-induced crafting
Kai looked cute all weekend, as usual.

Finally, I created an etsy shop. Yep, you heard me. OPENED.  I'm completely nervous and scared about this. Is this product really worthy of selling? Am I really good enough to have people pay me to make things? Is this real life?

To not knowing if I'm crazy or not,