Monday, July 30, 2012

Learning to love

[Caveat: this IS one of those posts solely bragging about how awesome my husband is.Don't say I didn't warn you.]

I absolutely adore my husband. Yes, we've had a lot to adjust to in our first year and a half of marriage, but I love him more now than I did when we first met. He is such a strong leader in our family: spiritually, mentally, and physically. His heart is so big it makes me smile thinking about how deeply he cares for me.

If you don't know us or haven't heard our story, we had a very short dating period and even shorter engagement. We just knew from the beginning where our relationship was going and didn't see the purpose in slowing it down. I'm so thankful for the way that Ryan has challenged me, shaped me, and made me more of the woman Christ has called me to be.

Since being married to him, I feel so much more confident in my own skin. I feel more okay to just be me. He makes me feel like I matter. He makes me feel like I have a voice. He makes me want to be better at everything. I would have never in my life thought I'd open small side business, but Ryan believes in me. He supports me like no other.

This weekend, he lavished so much love on me that I'm still trying to take it all in. Saturday he said he was going to cook out, and he wanted me to just relax. Now, I do not relax very easily, but he was adamant that I do not enter the kitchen. He surprised me with a lovely dinner, one of his best meals yet.

Then on Sunday, after going to eat with one of our favorite couples, Ryan insisted on doing the cleaning. Yep, you heard me. ALL OF IT. He did the sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, deep cleaning bathroom, etc. while I went grocery shopping. Then when I got home from the store, he had a bouquet of beautiful flowers waiting for me. He knows his way to my heart. He knew I'd be stressed if we went to eat with friends because Sundays for me consist of couponing, shopping, cleaning, and prepping for the week. I love doing life with him. Then, to top it off, he hung my teacup measuring cups up on Sunday night. Love that man.

The cooking, cleaning, flower-buying man.
One more picture, just because we're so proud
We are slowly but surely learning to how lean on each other and love each other the way we are loved best. I feel most loved when Ryan does things for me-(service)- helps clean, cook, chores, buys flowers, etc. Ryan feels most loved through affirmation. He feels loved when I respect him, appreciate him, and value his time. It took me over a year to realize that me cooking, cleaning, and doing things around the house were in fact not the way Ryan feels loved. Yes, he does appreciate it, but it doesn't make him feel loved. I've had to adjust my mindset to transition what I focus my attention on, and I'm definitely still working on that. We've had to learn that the way that we feel loved is not necessarily the way our spouse fees loved.

This weekend was so good for us. So refreshing, and such a good perspective. We had a great balance of time together and time apart being productive.

To striving to be a better mate,

No comments:

Post a Comment